Slice cucumber thinly and sprinkle with 1/3 tsp salt. Let sit for 5 minutes until softened, rinse with water, and squeeze out excess moisture. Cut potatoes into bite-sized pieces and soak in water. Drain and place in a microwave-safe container.

Cover loosely with plastic wrap and microwave at 600W for 4–5 minutes. While hot, add potato seasoning and mash roughly. Cut boiled egg into quarters.

Cut block bacon into 1cm cubes.

In a frying pan, spread pizza cheese into 4 circles about 5cm in diameter. Sprinkle with black pepper. Heat over medium heat until cheese melts and turns golden brown, about 3–5 minutes. Remove and let cool (Crispy Cheese).

Using the same pan, sauté bacon over medium heat until lightly browned. Let cool.

In a bowl, mix mayonnaise and grain mustard. Add potatoes, cucumber, boiled egg, and bacon. Season with salt and black pepper to taste.